Wondering
by teddylupin-snape
Summary: Druella's getting married to Cygnus Black, but she can't help wondering what would've happened if she married Abraxas Malfoy. Druella/Abraxas two-shot for Amber


**A/N: This is for the lovely Amber, because she insisted I write Druella/Abraxas. Hope you enjoy!**

xox

Forbidden romance was nothing unfamiliar to you. Your sister had gone against your father's wishes too, marrying a Muggle. She had been disowned for it, there was no surprise there. But you didn't love a Muggle, you would never sink that low. But you didn't love Cygnus Black either, and no matter how soon your marriage to him was, your love for Cygnus weakened at the same rate your love for Abraxas Malfoy strengthened. Yes, the Black family was wealthy and well-respected, but the Malfoy family had plenty of money.

When you were with Cygnus, you felt as if you were simply going through the motions. You only interacted with him because you thought that you could grow closer to him in time. However, for all the time you spent with Cygnus, you spent double with your thoughts dwelling on Abraxas.

You knew that you were already set to marry Cygnus, but when you weighed your options, there was no removing your heart from its hold on Abraxas. Cygnus was cold and you found yourself constantly trying and failing to hold a conversation with him. His harsh tones did nothing but clip your wings and once you found that you couldn't fly free around Cygnus, you ran off to Abraxas. You took shelter in his warm, inviting wings. You could come to him, emotionally exhausted and craving someone who would love you back. You didn't have to keep up your walls around him. He didn't just watch you crumble, he comforted you and showed you just how chivalrous a Malfoy could be. He wiped away your tears when you could stand to let them fall. He knew you were betrothed to Cygnus and he didn't ask you to change that.

"Abraxas," you whispered, nestled in his arms, tears slowly rolling down your cheeks.

"Mmhmm?" he asked softly.

"I—you know that I can't marry Cygnus, don't you? You can stand behind me there, right?" you asked hesitantly, feeling your moment of strength falter as his face dropped.

"Druella, darling. I love you, you know that. But… you can't back out of your marriage, not now with it so close. Have you thought of what your parents would say if you didn't marry Cygnus Black?" He had a point, but it wasn't one that you necessarily wanted to hear.

"But Ab, I don't love _him_. I love you," you murmur into his chest.

"I know that. But this isn't up to you to change, Druella. Your parents have chosen a well-respected, honourable choice for your husband, you can't deny that."

"I know he's _honourable_, but that doesn't change my feelings. How could I marry someone like that, I hardly know anything about him. We can't keep up a conversation for more than five minutes without it resorting to an awkward stand-still. How am I to spend the rest of my life with someone like that, Ab, how?" Fresh tears began to spill now, and you weren't sure quite how much you should have to tell Abraxas before he believed you.

"Druella—"

"No. I can't do it. I honestly can't, Abraxas. You're perfectly 'well-respected and honourable' yourself, why can't I marry you instead?"

"Druella, does it really matter in the end? You know it's not your place to choose your husband, just as much as it's not my place to argue the matter with your father."

Your thin frame slumped dejectedly in his arms. You wished that this wouldn't be so hard. You wished that you could be with Abraxas and be happily in love. You wished that your Pureblood status didn't define everything you did, that you could make your own decisions without worrying whether or not they upheld your family's honour. You wished that your life wasn't defined for you.

Days grew slowly into weeks, and every day you spent with Cygnus. Every night, you sat in Abraxas' arms, praying for dawn to come slowly. You didn't want to have to leave his side, but you knew that if your parents found out that you were outrightly disobeying them, you would never get to see Abraxas again.

You found yourself plucking up flowers, removing petal after unfortunate petal. The flowers predicted the outcome of 'He loves you not' for each flower you plucked for Cygnus.

Silent tears fell as you watched your life slowly turn away from your control. You saw yourself veiled in white, kissing Cygnus under an arch, you watched young children who looked like you and Cygnus, not you and Abraxas. You watched them, proudly boasting the surname Black, as the Malfoy name got buried under a layer of dust and weren't-meant-to-be's.

The wedding drew nearer, and your tears were kept for lonely nights in your bedroom. The days were spent with Cygnus and your parents as you planned for the 'perfect' Pureblood marriage ceremony. Sometimes, you wondered what would have happened if you father had chosen Abraxas Malfoy to be your husband.

xox

**A/N: I plan to continue this, making it a two-shot that shows the wedding and Druella's thoughts before/during/after.**

**For the Opposite Day Challenge, where I had to write something in the Riddle Era.**

**Please leave a review!**


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